This post is going to have a more serious tone. I have been doing a lot of thinking about friendship over the past couple of days. It’s interesting to think of how we “inventory” the number of friends that we have. Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, or (insert your social site here) all tell you how many friends you have. I personally have nearly 1200 total between those sites I mentioned with not too many duplicates. Let’s face it, there is no way possible that anyone could be a real friend to so many people. So the question begs, “What makes a real friend?”
When I was thinking of the title of this post I struggled with should it be “What kind of a friend will you be? or I be?” I try to be introspective when I think about such things. How am I doing in this area? What can I do to be better? I know one thing for sure, that I am human and fail those around me on a daily basis. So I let the title speak to everyone.
There are people in our lives that don’t even take notice of us. You know the kind; when they ask “how’s it going” and keep walking. Man that bugs me, and I hope you aren’t THAT guy. There are those people in our lives that want to hear our story. They even call you up and ask how you’re doing. But when you turn the tables on them and ask how their personal life is going – you get the wall. “Hey, I’m not comfortable with you knowing how things are really going in my life”, is the general tone that you get. It kind of make me feel like I’m there to provide some kind of entertainment value with the drama in my life.
I do know this – a real friend is a truly rare thing. After 45 years, I’m still trying to figure out what it is supposed to look like. I think that a friend has to be someone that is there for you. So far, I’ve come up with that a friend is someone that wants to hear the good and the bad while reciprocating those things back to me. Friendship has to be a two way street. A friend is someone that is moved to action. The saying “talk is cheap” applies here. It takes more, it cost you something. Not in the since of money, but effort. You have to believe in that person enough that you are willing to take risk to your self. I guess the best way I could sum this point up would be the question “Do I believe enough in this person to help them get where they want to be in life?”
Like I said, I am speaking to myself in this post as much as anyone who may read this. I want to be a better friend to those I know. Hopefully, I will gain real friendships with real depth along the way.
Please add your comments to this post. I think this is something at the very depth of our soul that each one of us desires and it would be great to get other’s perspectives.